Timmy from Jurassic Park would survive nuclear holocaust
In the past/future when I die, I want to come back as Timmy from Jurassic Park.
Timmy, the annoying-as-hell little kid who runs around after Doctor Grant (Sam Neill) because of his brilliant significance as an author, isn't just a survivor. He's one hell of a survivor.
Let's take them one-by-one.
1) He doesn't get eaten by the T-Rex, even when he really should do (and quietly, I wanted him to). He manages to defend himself against a 31,000 lb dinosaur by kicking up a window, and keep doing that. While we're at it, he doesn't drown in the mud, either.
2) He doesn't die by falling car....and the pulls off one of the great line: "Well, we're back in the car again".
3) He manages to survive getting nailed by 10,000 volts. He also did a cool bit where he flew backwards and landed perfectly into the hand of Grant (Mr Grant, btw, you should take up goalkeeping).
4) Then, little Timmy manages to avoid getting killed in a kitchen by a velocripator. His sister bails him out ( I mean, after you've nearly been eaten by a T-Rex, fallen out of a tree, electrocuted, you aren't exactly you probably don't like life very much, but anyway).
Timmy, the annoying-as-hell little kid who runs around after Doctor Grant (Sam Neill) because of his brilliant significance as an author, isn't just a survivor. He's one hell of a survivor.
Let's take them one-by-one.
1) He doesn't get eaten by the T-Rex, even when he really should do (and quietly, I wanted him to). He manages to defend himself against a 31,000 lb dinosaur by kicking up a window, and keep doing that. While we're at it, he doesn't drown in the mud, either.
2) He doesn't die by falling car....and the pulls off one of the great line: "Well, we're back in the car again".
3) He manages to survive getting nailed by 10,000 volts. He also did a cool bit where he flew backwards and landed perfectly into the hand of Grant (Mr Grant, btw, you should take up goalkeeping).
4) Then, little Timmy manages to avoid getting killed in a kitchen by a velocripator. His sister bails him out ( I mean, after you've nearly been eaten by a T-Rex, fallen out of a tree, electrocuted, you aren't exactly you probably don't like life very much, but anyway).
5) And then last but not least, he manages to survive a skeleton dropping on his head. And the T-Rex beats the crap out of the velociraptors for good measure.
Timmy is also exceptional against other humans.
He's outlives Samuel L. "Hold Onto Your Butts" Jackson, the blood-sucking lawyer, the rancher from Kenya with the automatic weapon and the fan genius hacker dude, who also stars as Newman from Seinfeld.
He also outlives 3 velociraptors (the other one died in the freezer, we presume), one running smaller dinosaur (he became lunch for the T-Rex). And if the T-Rex is running rampant, he's probably outliving 3/4 of the island as a well.
Well done, kid.
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